Friday, March 15, 2013

More on the Pros and Cons of reading dead people.

Doing the work of a Medium can be some of the most rewarding work you could ever imagine. It does come with inherent risks. Most people hold strong, psychologically impacting feelings about their dead loved ones. These feelings can conjure up a whole host of reactions as well as unexpected ramifications for both you and the person you are reading for. I've mentioned boundaries in the past and will certainly be likely to mention boundaries often throughout my blogging process, but no where is it more important for everyone involved then while doing Medium work that you have and enforce strong boundaries. It is not healthy for anyone to spend all their time only interacting with the dead. Dead people want you to live, really no matter what those terrible horror movies may try to convince you of, life is still for the living.
 Embrace this as your first boundary.  A reading with a loved one will not and can not replace said loved one.
You can and will have moments of great connection between you, your client, and said dead person, but don't try to make it more then what it is, a brief temporary, momentary connection.
Expectations, both yours and the clients, can be problematic. Clients want a meaningful exchange, you want to give a meaningful exchange, sometimes what appears meaningful to the dead person doesn't resonate with the person on the other end of the interaction. Don't over think this. If all Grandma wants you to know it that she is happy, loved to knit and still reads the paper every morning, that's what you get. Is this deep and meaningful? Maybe be not to me but perhaps that is how Grandma always interacted. Perhaps if she suddenly took to deep philosophical prose, we wouldn't recognize her for who she really was.
Whatever the exchange, always tell the truth. If Grandpa is still a grumpy old bastard, don't imply he is anything other then that. That's not to say that the dead don't change. they do. More on that later.

Pros and Cons of reading the dead.

What is the point of connecting with the dead? I believe that depends on your perspective. When I was a child and saw or heard from someone no one else could acknowledge, truth be told, I was half afraid and half fascinated. This mix of anxiety and anticipation stayed with me for many years. I wasn't sure what the point of this connection was. What did they want? Why was I the one they seemed to connect with?
When I became a teenager I learned I could impress my friends with this little trick. As an adult I learned not everyone is impressed, and some are down right offended by my habit of communicating with dead people. Controversy goes hand in hand with much of my career but none more so then with the act of being a Medium.
 Is it necessary to talk to the dead? I have no idea. Is it a requirement set forth by some almighty force greater then us mere mortals? Couldn't really say. Simply a continuation of the connection of energy between all living things? Not sure about that either. I do know that communication with the dead can be a powerful life altering event and therefore should be done with respect to everyone involved. There will be more on this aspect later but for now I'd like to explain an average Medium reading.
I think the thing most interesting about reading dead people is how mundane the readings can be. Most people assume that their loved one will come across with some great wisdom or deeply trans formative message from the great beyond when in fact most of what is shared is small personal bits of information. Most often I am relaying what said dead person enjoyed doing most while living. Great cooks will show me pictures of holiday tables set with wonderful dishes. Bad cooks that loved the act of cooking may show me pictures of stove tops full of pots and pans brimming with interesting if not enticing combinations of food. (true story, the woman's family regaled me with stories of many painful evenings forcing nearly inedible food down with regrettable consequences to the diners but great pride to the cook.) Now does it matter that someone is a great or poor cook? Probably not. Does the act of remembering these facts bring emotional connection? Usually yes.
What does it all mean in the long run? I believe that depends on what you as an individual choose to take way from the reading. If you do decide to communicate with the dead be aware that you may not get what you expect or you may get exactly what you except and both outcomes can have long lasting effects. More on this later.