Sunday, August 2, 2009

Just one more question...

In a prior post I mentioned that sometimes, some people will ask the same question over and over again. Well with the "Just one more question..." scenario, sometimes, some people, will not be willing to end a reading, hours, days even weeks and months after.

I've had clients call after a reading done in person, to ask another question over the phone. This can get abusive.

If say, for some unintended reason, someone has a legitimate question that they forgot to ask during their reading I will usually set up a time to answer this one question over the phone.

If the client wants to discuss an entire topic, I will encourage the client to make an appointment. If this happens more then once I will encourage the client to wait to ask their question at their next reading. Sometimes, some people, don't like this....

This brings us to another good topic. Boundaries. Some of you may have heard the phrase "Good fences make good neighbors". Well with readings "Good boundaries make good psychics".

By creating a set of standards and ethics that are clear, you feel comfortable using and you share with your clients, you then have a set the boundaries for you and your client to live by. Now if someone doesn't like it, each of you knows what comes next.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Touchy subjects...

While performing a reading, you may learn things you never wanted to know. Some people are cheating on spouses. Some people are living a secret life. Some people have been broken beyond repair. Some people are doing the braking. All of it is none of your business.

I've cultivated an interesting way of dealing with this issue. I don't remember the readings I give. I will remember a conversation we may have about your reading after the fact, but I usually won't remember what was said during the reading.

Makes my life easier but people do find it strange that I don't have a clue what I've told them.

I'm not sure if this happens due to early onset dementia or short term memory loss from a hit to the head I also can't remember, but I choose to believe the reason I don't remember a reading is because it's not my "stuff".

I have enough "stuff" i.e. baggage, in my own life to carry around and I really don't need someones "stuff" added to it.

If you have a strong sense of empathy, you may find it difficult to shake off a reading. I recommend getting into a routine practice of grounding, deep breathing, taking a walk, any or all of the above as a means of breaking the emotional attachment.

Next up: Just one more question... how to deal with an unethical client.

The never ending reading part two...

Learn how to end a reading. I know phone psychics are encouraged to keep the client talking. As a psychic I find this practice unethical as well as uncomfortable. When someone moves from asking a specific question during a reading, to a chatty conversation about said topic, I know it's time to end the reading.

People come to see a psychic for all manner of reasons. Yes I share my insights and hopefully an objective opinion or two, but I will not be paid to be a friend. Set your own personal boundaries. Get comfortable with what you are and are not willing to do in a reading. Creating this skill set will benefit your future readings more then you may know.

Next up: Touchy subjects...

Monday, July 27, 2009

The never ending reading.

Have you ever taken a personality test? You know the type where the questionnaire asks the same question twenty different ways all in an effort to arrive at a specific answer. There is a similar situation with psychic readings.
I call it the never ending reading.

Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes people have a strongly vested interest in hearing a specific answer to a very important, or possibly a not so important, question. This question usually involves a cherished hope for a specific outcome. A deeply held belief in a specific outcome. Possibly a very real perceived need to be right or for someone else to be wrong. It also heralds a long and potentially pointless reading.
Someday you will have this client.

I tend to be a fairly patient person. I don't mind going over and over the same issue repeatedly. Unfortunately no matter how many times you are asked the same question the answer doesn't usually change. Finally you will be faced with the ultimate question of "why doesn't (insert outcome hear) happen?"

The answer to that question will be varied and meaningful, but not necessarily what the client wants to hear. This is not your issue.

More on this topic later...

Tears, fears and beers, oh my!

Okay so you've jumped in the pool. You, yes you, are going to give someone a reading.

Be prepared. Some people you read may not be willing to hear what you have to say. Some people you read may be only too willing to hear what you have to say.
Others may truly want to hear what you have to say, yet aren't in a place in their life to do anything about the issues at hand.

Let's face it, psychic or not, we've all been there. The friend that continually falls for that perfectly wrong person asks, "Why do all my relationships end this way?" The answer is clear, "Because you want them to." getting that answer through to this person may take some doing.

Being an objective observer has it's risks. You, as the voice of objectivity,(note I don't say reason) run the risk of saying something someone else just simply doesn't want to hear.

Can you handle being told "no, no I don't do that" even though you know the person in question does in fact do whatever it is they claim not to? Not having a vested interest in the outcome of any reading will give you the ability to remain objective.

How to cultivate a hands off perspective? One way I remain open to the possibilities is, I rarely do readings for friends. Sounds funny doesn't it.

I learned early on that when I read for people I care a great deal about, it is very hard to keep my personality out of the mix. I want this person to have a great outcome because I don't enjoy seeing people I care about suffer.

I also learned that you can fall into what I call the "wish reading" I would end up reading what the person wished would happen instead of what I knew to be the more likely turn of events.

If I do read a friend, I make sure to stick to the questions at hand. Stick to the facts and be as blunt as possible. Why am I blunt? By being blunt I keep my emotions out of the way.

Another risk of reading for others is the "Tear factor".

Can you handle someone crying? I mean really crying? A huge out pouring of emotion can and does happen regularly while doing readings. This emotional torrent can be scary.

How will you deal with a sobbing client? First off, have tissues handy. Try to remain calm, remember releasing emotion is a good thing. Also, you didn't make the client cry their circumstances did...really, no really.

Fears, irrational unyielding fears.
We all have fear. Most of our fears are reasonable and involve some form of pain be it physical, emotional or all of the above. Some of your clients are likely to come to you with fears that simply don't make sense. While dealing with a clients fear I've learned that clarity works best.

Challenging the fear will only give the client something to hold on to. Defining why someone is fearful and what of and clearly stating the possible outcomes, usually is the best one can do with an unreasonable fear.

Getting comfortable with your own unreasonable fears doesn't hurt either.

And now on to "Beers" or reading while drunk. Ever tried to read a good book while tanked? Not easy is it?

Giving someone a reading while drinking. Yes I've done it. Is it a good idea? No. Remember you are dealing with peoples lives, emotions, hopes, and fears. Taking the clients life seriously, regardless of how the person you are reading feels about it at the time, is important.

Yes reading can be and hopefully is fun, for everyone involved, and yes a party can be a great place to have a reading, but reading while drunk isn't pretty and doesn't leave any room for objectivity.

If your client is drunk you need to choose how and whether or not you are going to deal with it. I don't recommend reading for someone whose drunk, its kind of like discussing philosophy with a dog. The dog enjoys the attention but doesn't really get the point.

Next up, the never ending reading....

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A side note...

Intuition is a tricky thing, it can show it's self to us under strange and sometimes uncomfortable circumstances. Say in large groups, at work, while driving.

Along with this intuitive feeling you may feel anxiety, excitement, clarity, all or none of the above. The difficult part is learning how to decipher the intuitive piece in amongst the fog.

I'm a teacher so I may be biased here but... Take a class. Read a book. Practice with like minded people. I can't say it enough. The best way to figure out what to do with your intuition is to put it to the test.

What if you don't want to be psychic? Take a class. Read a book. Talk to like minded people. Have you ever spoken to someone that is very tall? Ask them how often they were asked about basketball. Go ahead do it. Watch the eyes roll back into their heads. Just because you're tall doesn't mean you play basketball. Just because you have intuition it doesn't mean you are obligated to use it. Learning how to "deal" with your intuition can be just as useful as learning how to use your intuition.

Now you've gone and done it!

What's that? You want to be a psychic? Really, why would you want to do that? No really, that is the question. What do you expect to come of this unusual skill set? How will you nurture this talent.

Being psychic and doing work as a psychic are two different animals. Using your innate psychic abilities to better your life is a wonderful use of this gift. Using your innate psychic abilities to better someone other then yourself is a wonderful use as well, but this comes with a price.

How well do you deal with risk? Are you comfortable being challenged? More on this later.

Next up: Tears, Fears, and Beers.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

So you have a nagging feeling something may be happening to someone you know. What now?
That depends on what that feeling implies as well as who this information is about.
If this impression involves a distant relative you met once at a family reunion, it may be best to simply make a note of the information and see what transpires.
If, on the other hand, this information is tied to a dear friend with whom you share all the inner most intimate details of your life with, you may be better received.

What will the information you have do for the other person? If you have the impression some form of doom is soon to be visited on your near and dear one, ask yourself if what you have to share will be helpful to those involved.
Is your psychic intuition giving you the juicy details of a dear friends love life? Ask yourself how you knowing the outcome of this relationship would best serve your friend. It may be that your impression is there to help you be an empathetic shoulder to cry on and not the voice of reason waiting to say I told you so.
If you do decide to discus your impressions with the person in question you may want to take these steps beforehand.

Take note of what your feelings are telling you. Are there mental pictures that come to mind?Any key words you may use to interpret your impression? Can you accurately articulate what this feeling is trying to tell you?

Now put yourself in the other person's shoes. How would you feel if someone came to you with this type of information. If the person you are about to share your story with is not comfortable hearing the information or perhaps not comfortable with how you came to know this, will this influence your future interactions?
Some very open minded people may nonetheless be sidetracked with the thought of someones psychic intuition entering their life.

So now you've made the leap, shared this information and all was well received. End of story? Not at all. Things are about to get very interesting.
More on how to handle what's to come with my next installment