Monday, July 27, 2009

Tears, fears and beers, oh my!

Okay so you've jumped in the pool. You, yes you, are going to give someone a reading.

Be prepared. Some people you read may not be willing to hear what you have to say. Some people you read may be only too willing to hear what you have to say.
Others may truly want to hear what you have to say, yet aren't in a place in their life to do anything about the issues at hand.

Let's face it, psychic or not, we've all been there. The friend that continually falls for that perfectly wrong person asks, "Why do all my relationships end this way?" The answer is clear, "Because you want them to." getting that answer through to this person may take some doing.

Being an objective observer has it's risks. You, as the voice of objectivity,(note I don't say reason) run the risk of saying something someone else just simply doesn't want to hear.

Can you handle being told "no, no I don't do that" even though you know the person in question does in fact do whatever it is they claim not to? Not having a vested interest in the outcome of any reading will give you the ability to remain objective.

How to cultivate a hands off perspective? One way I remain open to the possibilities is, I rarely do readings for friends. Sounds funny doesn't it.

I learned early on that when I read for people I care a great deal about, it is very hard to keep my personality out of the mix. I want this person to have a great outcome because I don't enjoy seeing people I care about suffer.

I also learned that you can fall into what I call the "wish reading" I would end up reading what the person wished would happen instead of what I knew to be the more likely turn of events.

If I do read a friend, I make sure to stick to the questions at hand. Stick to the facts and be as blunt as possible. Why am I blunt? By being blunt I keep my emotions out of the way.

Another risk of reading for others is the "Tear factor".

Can you handle someone crying? I mean really crying? A huge out pouring of emotion can and does happen regularly while doing readings. This emotional torrent can be scary.

How will you deal with a sobbing client? First off, have tissues handy. Try to remain calm, remember releasing emotion is a good thing. Also, you didn't make the client cry their circumstances did...really, no really.

Fears, irrational unyielding fears.
We all have fear. Most of our fears are reasonable and involve some form of pain be it physical, emotional or all of the above. Some of your clients are likely to come to you with fears that simply don't make sense. While dealing with a clients fear I've learned that clarity works best.

Challenging the fear will only give the client something to hold on to. Defining why someone is fearful and what of and clearly stating the possible outcomes, usually is the best one can do with an unreasonable fear.

Getting comfortable with your own unreasonable fears doesn't hurt either.

And now on to "Beers" or reading while drunk. Ever tried to read a good book while tanked? Not easy is it?

Giving someone a reading while drinking. Yes I've done it. Is it a good idea? No. Remember you are dealing with peoples lives, emotions, hopes, and fears. Taking the clients life seriously, regardless of how the person you are reading feels about it at the time, is important.

Yes reading can be and hopefully is fun, for everyone involved, and yes a party can be a great place to have a reading, but reading while drunk isn't pretty and doesn't leave any room for objectivity.

If your client is drunk you need to choose how and whether or not you are going to deal with it. I don't recommend reading for someone whose drunk, its kind of like discussing philosophy with a dog. The dog enjoys the attention but doesn't really get the point.

Next up, the never ending reading....

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